You are in the promise, and now that you are here, why are you rejecting the goodness of God? You walked into the blessings, increase, and favor, but you’re afraid to accept it. All you have seen and known is lack, abuse, rejection, and everything that was opposite of the Lord’s character. But, The Lord wants you to truly embrace and be joyous in everything He has for you. Nothing you have done has brought you to this point, it is simply the grace and mercy of the Lord. You are not deserving of any of it, and it is not based on who you are, it is because of who God is. He favors you and wants you to be fruitful and prosperous, but you think because of your shortcomings, you deserve shortness of hand from God. God does not extend His love and take it away because of what you have said, done, or thought. No. His love endures forever and beyond. The love you are running from wants to pour into every area of your life if you let it.

When I finally came into the promised land, I felt joy for the first few days. I was overly ecstatic and praised the Lord throughout the entire process. A few days later, thoughts started arising like: ” How do I deserve this? I shouldn’t even be going here, I don’t deserve to go onto these promises”. When those thoughts arose, I began to see the insecurity I felt within myself about God’s love for me. All of my flawedness was shining because God’s love was shining brighter than I had ever seen. His favor increased in my life and His voice was clearer than before. I was seeing more of His love in every area of my life, and a part of me hated it. I kept trying to understand the why in how I got here. I knew it was not based on something I hadn’t or had done, but I still made it seem that way. I kept walking outside of the Lord’s love and into shame and condemnation, which was all a plot of the enemy. the enemy made me believe that because I had fallen short plenty of times, I couldn’t be here or go further. I began to see the new territory I was in, and I definitely had. plenty of haters there.

I continued walking in the promise, and I set my face away from it and away from God because I did not trust that this was for me. I wanted to run away, and talk myself out of receiving the love. When the good increased, my walls were building back up. The walls were how I sabotaged my hands out of goodness. It was a horrible habit that carried on top of my failures and mistakes. If I did not feel deserving, I sabotaged and made a way to opt-out of receiving any more. I saw the toxicity in my wall building in which I conspired against the Lord and I had to put a halt to it. I told the Lord what was on my heart and He continued reminding me of His love. His love brought up my walls, and my walls brought more of His love. His love continues to pierce through this stony heart of mine. He loves me inspite of all I have ever done and that is the beauty of His love.

Don’t be the one to ruin what good there is for you in this life. The Lord never intended to withhold the good things from those He loves. Be accepting of what the Lord has for you and be kind to yourself. You do not need to keep reminding yourself of your shortcoming and why you are not deserving. Rather focus on how good God is to bless you even in spite of your shortcoming. He is the good that prevails over all of that sin and failure. Set your face on the goodness that is in Him rather than yourself. I continued walking in the promise, and I set my face away from it and away from God because I did not trust that this was for me. I wanted to run away, and talk myself out of receiving the love.

What I began to have comfort in was knowing that I was in a new territory, and grace still abounds here. The grace the Lord extended to me was the same grace I was in need of from myself.